Is it Normal to Feel Depressed After Selling My Business?

Rock, It’s been at least 6 months since I sold my business. Since then, I have not admitted to anyone that I have been depressed. It’s surprising because everything I’ve been thinking about and doing for the past few years has centered around selling my business and finally being free and happy. It’s not that I don’t have anything to do right now. My wife and I are staying busy and getting out every day. I just feel… I don’t know the right word…empty. Your thoughts?

You are smart to stay busy. Keeping yourself active – with goals and schedules – is helpful. For former owners who are drifting and don’t have anything to move toward, the process is even harder.

So let’s start with a word of reassurance. You are not alone. Many former owners feel as you do in the first six months – and longer – after selling the business. There’s a feeling of being separated from something that was so essential to your life – and that’s a new emotion to process. The discomfort and disorientation are unfamiliar. Even if you get used to those feelings, they may not go away. Owners tell me it can feel like a divorce, a major job loss, or even a death in the family.

When I sold my businesses, I had other pieces of my life and business intertwined in the process. I wasn’t fully aware – or maybe I was less in touch with my feelings back then – how much there is an actual grieving period.

The length of the grieving period after selling a business differs with each person. Even for someone who is relieved to sell the business, it’s a major life change.

In your situation, if your wife was also involved in the business, it can make the separation from the old life a challenge. Perhaps you two were in the habit of talking shop together. Now you need to find new things to do and discuss. Create new routines and traditions.

For your family and friends, your business sale is still fresh news to them. They are probably curious about how it’s going. They want to show respect by acknowledging this significant event in your life. Furthermore, your role as a business owner may be the only identity they know of you. You may have to be the one to steer the conversation to new topics and help them learn about your other interests.

Unfortunately for at least a year, your main discussions with your attorney, accountant, and wealth manager will be around managing the necessary steps after the sale. Schedule these meetings close together if possible – with long breaks in between – so you can practice being the new you without these constant reminders and tasks.

Another thing I recommend to my clients is to talk with a person who has had experience in counseling people who are experiencing major life changes. It’s not easy to rediscover yourself and make decisions on behalf of the new you. Talk to a counselor, family business expert, spiritual advisor, a 12-step coach, or someone who has been through the business sale process and seems to have his or her head on straight. You may find yourself circling the drain with the same thoughts, worries, and “aha” moments. You may wonder if you will ever get past certain issues. That’s where a trained professional can help you adjust your thinking, gain closure, and move on.

Take a look at this resource from LaManna Consulting Group for more ideas: Succession Planning Simplified.

If you think a future step might be to buy another business, give yourself a little time. We can get addicted to being busy, especially if we’re used to being in charge and doing it all. For many of us who started working in the family business when we were still practically in diapers, life has been a long galloping ride. Give yourself a chance to get used to a slower trot before you get back in the race.

In another six months if you still have the itch to buy or run another business, give me a call. We’ll be ready for you!